Procession from Kabbalat Panim to the Chuppah
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The bride is escorted to the chuppah by her mother and mother in law, and the groom, by his father and father in law. The presence of the escorts symbolizes the royal status of the bride and groom at their wedding.1 All of the escorts lock arms with the bride or groom while holding lit candles. The candles symbolize the light and fire that occurred when the Torah was being given to the Jews at Mount Sinai. It also shows a wish for a life full of happiness and joy. Usually, the groom walks down the aisle first.2 By being the first to the chuppah, the groom is inviting the bride to join him in his 'domain'. It symbolizes the bride going form her parents' home, to her husband's home. According to Kabbalah, the groom is a commentary on G-d, the bride is the Jewish people, and the chuppah represents Mount Sinai. A wedding symbolizes G-d marrying the Jewish people. First, G-d has to make himself accessible, then the Jewish people arrive under Mount Sinai. This is why the man walks down the aisle first.2 While escorting the bride to the chuppah, the chazan sings the "Alter Rebbe's Niggun of Four Stanzas"1.
The Chuppah
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Before the chuppah all knots on the bride and the groom's garments are untied. This symbolizes that at the moment of marriage all other bonds are eliminated, except this intimate one made between the bride and groom. Neither the bride nor the groom wear any valuables, including jewelry, on them. This again goes back to the bedacken when the bride and groom are sure to be marrying each other for who they are, and not what they possess externally. The groom wears a white robe, known as the "Kittel", traditionally worn on Yom Kippur. This serves to remind the groom of the solemnity of the occasion.1 The bride also wears a white dress which represents the purity and the start of their new life together under G-d.
The chuppah takes place outside to commemorate G-d saying to Abraham "may his seed be as numerous as the stars in heaven (Genesis 22:17)." The actual chuppah reminds us of Ruth saying to Boaz "spread your robe over your handmaid" (Ruth 3:9). It also begins the union of the bride and groom under G-d, which is how they will spend the rest of their lives together. Additionally, the openness of the chuppah signifies Abraham and Sarah's open tent and how the bride and groom will strive to be like our matriarchs and patriarchs. Kabbalists say that at the time of the Chuppah ceremony the Divine Presence, Schechina, descends from heaven. Along with the Schechina come all the deceased parents, grandparents and great grandparents of the bride and groom. Greetings and blessings from the Lubavitcher Rabbi are read aloud as the opening statement for the chuppah ceremony.
The chuppah takes place outside to commemorate G-d saying to Abraham "may his seed be as numerous as the stars in heaven (Genesis 22:17)." The actual chuppah reminds us of Ruth saying to Boaz "spread your robe over your handmaid" (Ruth 3:9). It also begins the union of the bride and groom under G-d, which is how they will spend the rest of their lives together. Additionally, the openness of the chuppah signifies Abraham and Sarah's open tent and how the bride and groom will strive to be like our matriarchs and patriarchs. Kabbalists say that at the time of the Chuppah ceremony the Divine Presence, Schechina, descends from heaven. Along with the Schechina come all the deceased parents, grandparents and great grandparents of the bride and groom. Greetings and blessings from the Lubavitcher Rabbi are read aloud as the opening statement for the chuppah ceremony.
Seven Circles Around the Groom
As the bride approaches the chuppah, she circles the groom seven times. This has many symbolic reasons. Some say it is an allusion to the prophecy regarding the Messianic Era: "The female will surround [and protect] the male." With these circles the bride is creating an invisible wall around her husband. 2 As it is written in the Talmud, "Any man who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing and without goodness...Without Torah and without a protecting wall...For it is written, A woman shall encompass a man" (Babylonian Talmud Yebamoth 62B). According to Kabbalah, the seven circles, symbolize the seven times Joshua and the Israelites circled the walls of Jericho." And seven priests shall bear seven rams' horns before the ark; and the seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the horns" (Joshua 6:4). Similarly to when they brought down the walls of Jericho, the bride is trying to break down any existing barriers between her and her husband. The number seven signifies completion in Judaism, the seven days of creation. Just as the seventh day was the completion of the world, so do the seven circles represent the couple's completed quest for finding each other and becoming whole. During these seven days of creation, the earth revolved on its axis seven times. Additionally, each time the bride circles the groom, she rises higher and higher until she becomes a crown on his head, as the Shabbat is a crown to the seven days of the week.2 The act also recalls the seven times tfillin is wrapped around a man's arm. Just as a man binds himself to G-d with tfillin, so does he bind himself with his wife. Lastly, on the day of the wedding, the groom is compared to a King. Just as a King is circled by his entourage, as is the groom being circled by the bride. The bride walks counterclockwise because Kabbalah says that the right side is symbolic of G‑d's loving-kindness. After the seven circles, the bride stands at the grooms right, “At your right hand stands the queen" (Psalm 45:10). In Sephardi communities, the bride does not circle the groom.
After the bride circles the groom seven times, the chazan officially welcomes them by chanting:
"Welcome!
He who is the Al-mighty and Omnipotent, over all;
He who is Blessed over all;
He who is the Greatest of all;
He who is Distinguished of all;
Shall Bless the Choson and Kallah."
After the bride circles the groom seven times, the chazan officially welcomes them by chanting:
"Welcome!
He who is the Al-mighty and Omnipotent, over all;
He who is Blessed over all;
He who is the Greatest of all;
He who is Distinguished of all;
Shall Bless the Choson and Kallah."
Kiddushin and Nisuin
According to Torah law, marriage is a two step process. The first step, kiddushin, or the actual betrothal. After this point in the ceremony, the bride and groom are officially married. However, it is not until the nisuin that they are permitted to live together. First, the Rabbi recites the hagefen, prayer over a glass of wine. Then he says the kiddushin blessing:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, וְאָסַר לָנוּ אֶת הָאֲרוּסוֹת, וְהִתִּיר לָנוּ אֶת" הַנְּשׂוּאוֹת לָנוּ עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְקַדֵּשׁ עַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין.
"Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning illicit marriages, forbidden to us the betrothed and permitted to us those who are married to us by the rite of chupah and kiddushin. Blessed are You Lord, who sanctifies His people Israel through chupah and kiddushin" 3.
Technically, the groom is supposed to say the kiddishun, but since he is probably nervous at this point in the service, he would slur the words. Therefore, the Rabbi acts as the groom's agent in saying the prayer.
After the blessings, the bride and groom drink from the glass of wine. "The first blessing over the wine signifies that just as we pronounce the holiness of the Sabbath and festivals over the wine, we sanctify the personal relationship of marriage over wine"1. After the bride and groom have drunk from the wine, the groom then puts the ring on the bride's right index finger. There have been many suggestions as to why the ring is not put on the ring finger. Most of them talk about the greater dexterity of the index finger. The ring must be a simple gold band. The ring is gold to symbolize that the bride should always be as precious as gold to the groom. While putting the ring on the bride, the groom says:
הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי בְּטַבַּעַת זוֹ כְּדַת משֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל"
"With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel" 3.
The bride does not give the groom a ring under the chuppah. Kabbalah talks about the ring's symbolism in the wedding ceremony. The veil surrounds the bride, the bride circles around the groom, the chuppah surrounds them both. The guests will dance in circles around the bride and the groom, and the ring is also perfectly round.3
The nisuin is recited over the ceremony itself, thanking G-d for the opportunity for the bride and groom to perform this mitzvah. The sheva brachus are recited in this part of the ceremony.
In order to make a distinction between the kiddushin and the nisuin ceremony, there is a pause after the kiddushin where the ketubah is read. The honor of reading the ketubah is set aside for a Torah scholar who is fluent in Aramaic.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, וְאָסַר לָנוּ אֶת הָאֲרוּסוֹת, וְהִתִּיר לָנוּ אֶת" הַנְּשׂוּאוֹת לָנוּ עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְקַדֵּשׁ עַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין.
"Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning illicit marriages, forbidden to us the betrothed and permitted to us those who are married to us by the rite of chupah and kiddushin. Blessed are You Lord, who sanctifies His people Israel through chupah and kiddushin" 3.
Technically, the groom is supposed to say the kiddishun, but since he is probably nervous at this point in the service, he would slur the words. Therefore, the Rabbi acts as the groom's agent in saying the prayer.
After the blessings, the bride and groom drink from the glass of wine. "The first blessing over the wine signifies that just as we pronounce the holiness of the Sabbath and festivals over the wine, we sanctify the personal relationship of marriage over wine"1. After the bride and groom have drunk from the wine, the groom then puts the ring on the bride's right index finger. There have been many suggestions as to why the ring is not put on the ring finger. Most of them talk about the greater dexterity of the index finger. The ring must be a simple gold band. The ring is gold to symbolize that the bride should always be as precious as gold to the groom. While putting the ring on the bride, the groom says:
הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי בְּטַבַּעַת זוֹ כְּדַת משֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל"
"With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel" 3.
The bride does not give the groom a ring under the chuppah. Kabbalah talks about the ring's symbolism in the wedding ceremony. The veil surrounds the bride, the bride circles around the groom, the chuppah surrounds them both. The guests will dance in circles around the bride and the groom, and the ring is also perfectly round.3
The nisuin is recited over the ceremony itself, thanking G-d for the opportunity for the bride and groom to perform this mitzvah. The sheva brachus are recited in this part of the ceremony.
In order to make a distinction between the kiddushin and the nisuin ceremony, there is a pause after the kiddushin where the ketubah is read. The honor of reading the ketubah is set aside for a Torah scholar who is fluent in Aramaic.
Witnesses
All Jewish legal procedures must be done with two 'kosher' witnesses present. These witnesses can not be from the families of the bride and groom. The consecration of a woman to a man on her wedding day, is done through three acts. First, the giving of the ring from the groom to the bride. Second, the singing and handing over of the Ketubah to the bride. Third, after the chuppah ceremony, the bride and groom go to a private room, called yichud. Each of these three customs, require at least two kosher witnesses to be present.
Ketubah
The Ketubah is a legal document that states the groom's obligations to the bride. Especially his financial compensation in the event of divorce or widowhood. The signing of the ketubah signifies that marriage is not just a physical or emotional connection between the bride and groom. It is also a legal and moral commitment. The reading of the ketubah reminds us of Moses reading to the Israelites "The Book of the Covenant" at Mount Sinai. After the ketubah is read, it is handed over to the groom. If this document were to be lost, the bride and groom could no longer live with each other, until a new one is made.
Sheva Brachot
The conclusion, and some say the climax, of the ceremony are the seven blessings. Different relatives, or friends are called up to read a each blessing.4 A second cup of wine is poured out and the seven blessings are recited. The blessings are each from the pages of the Talmud (Ketubot 8a). The sheva brachot thank G-d for what He has created while addressing the relationship between the bride and the groom the the community and with G-d.
1. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי הגפן
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator of the fruit of the vine.
2. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, שהכל ברא לכבודו
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory.
3. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, יוצר האדם
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man.
4. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, אשר יצר את האדם בצלמו, בצלם דמות תבניתו, והתקין לו ממנו בניין עדי עד. ברוך אתה ה', יוצר האדם
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and provided for the perpetuation of his kind. You are blessed, Lord, the creator of man.
5. שוש תשיש ותגל העקרה, בקיבוץ בניה לתוכה בשמחה. ברוך אתה ה', משמח ציון בבניה
Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children. You are blessed, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.
6. שמח תשמח רעים האהובים, כשמחך יצירך בגן עדן מקדם. ברוך אתה ה', משמח חתן וכלה
Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.
7. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, אשר ברא ששון ושמחה, חתן וכלה, גילה רינה, דיצה וחדווה, אהבה ואחווה, ושלום ורעות, מהרה ה' אלקינו ישמע בערי יהודה ובחוצות ירושלים, קול ששון וקול שמחה, קול חתן וקול כלה, קול 0 חתנים מחופתם, ונערים ממשתה נגינתם. ברוך אתה ה', משמח חתן עם הכלה
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together.
1. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי הגפן
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator of the fruit of the vine.
2. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, שהכל ברא לכבודו
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory.
3. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, יוצר האדם
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man.
4. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, אשר יצר את האדם בצלמו, בצלם דמות תבניתו, והתקין לו ממנו בניין עדי עד. ברוך אתה ה', יוצר האדם
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and provided for the perpetuation of his kind. You are blessed, Lord, the creator of man.
5. שוש תשיש ותגל העקרה, בקיבוץ בניה לתוכה בשמחה. ברוך אתה ה', משמח ציון בבניה
Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children. You are blessed, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.
6. שמח תשמח רעים האהובים, כשמחך יצירך בגן עדן מקדם. ברוך אתה ה', משמח חתן וכלה
Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.
7. ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם, אשר ברא ששון ושמחה, חתן וכלה, גילה רינה, דיצה וחדווה, אהבה ואחווה, ושלום ורעות, מהרה ה' אלקינו ישמע בערי יהודה ובחוצות ירושלים, קול ששון וקול שמחה, קול חתן וקול כלה, קול 0 חתנים מחופתם, ונערים ממשתה נגינתם. ברוך אתה ה', משמח חתן עם הכלה
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together.
Breaking the Glass
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The tradition of breaking the glass is symbolic of the idea that even in a time of such joy, one must still remember Jerusalem. Some say that the breaking of the glass is a metaphor of the finality of the bond that has just been created. After the glass has been shattered, everyone yells "Mazal Tov!" So too in life when something breaks, one should thank G-d for being married to a real person, and not an angel.
1. http://www.jewish-history.com/minhag.htm
2. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/477334/jewish/The-Procession.htm#footnote1a477334
3. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/479959/jewish/Betrothal.htm
4. http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Special_Events/Wedding_Blessings/wedding_blessings.html